The Struggle Is Real
by Funky In Fishnet
Summary: Erin and Jay drink and talk; about Burgess and Ruzek, about Hank and Olivia, about cop relationships.
_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing._

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 **THE STRUGGLE IS REAL**

The conversation had started at about 3am, the two of them still awake from post-case adrenaline and seeing Antonio shot – it was a through-and-though and he was staying in Chicago Med who were keeping Intelligence tightly in the loop about his condition. Now Erin was out of her jeans and jacket, boots kicked off by the door and a beer in hand. It was too late for Molly's and she'd just wanted somewhere private to sit down and Jay's apartment was closest so here they were.

Jay was halfway through his own beer, he was going to start peeling the label any second now. But it was like he'd heard Erin's thoughts because instead he started talking,

"So Burgess and Roman, that's actually happening."

It was a transparent distraction technique and Erin gave Jay a 'really?' look but still answered, grabbing the subject with both hands, "Yeah, I don't think Ruzek was surprised either."

That was an understatement to match Jay's. Ruzek had taken one look at the way Roman had been talking to Burgess, how Roman's hand had touched her shoulder and waist to comfort her, and had glared and turned harshly away. Al had taken him somewhere to follow up a lead and hopefully smarten him up too. This was exactly why Hank had made a rule against inter-team relationships. Yeah. Erin sighed. It wasn't going to be easy for Burgess but she knew that. Was she still going to work just as hard to make Intelligence now?

"How long before Al has Ruzek on uniform duties?" Erin wondered with a grin.

Jay smirked, "He'll have Ruzek dumpster-diving by the end of next shift, guaranteed, especially if Ruzek asks his advice."

Erin laughed, taking a swig of beer. Ruzek would be better off keeping his mouth shut. Not that he would.

"Maybe Burgess'll ask you for more advice."

Jay's smirk didn't quit as he spoke and Erin pressed her lips together, squashing a smile. Burgess had said that Erin and Jay made a relationship between partners look easy. That memory made Erin's heart squeeze and warm in a still new and oddly welcome way. Honestly, the idea of her making a relationship work, other people admiring it and thinking it looked _easy_ , that was something she'd never even contemplated. But here she was, with her boyfriend and partner, drinking beer, staying the night, neither of them running scared. Erin didn't like to think about all of that too closely. She'd learned way back when that nothing could be grasped for long without it getting yanked away hard, only Hank was still there, still calling her family. And here was Jay, he hadn't tried to even give her a key to his apartment yet, thank God.

Erin needed a lot more beer for those kind of thoughts.

"She thinks we make it look easy," Erin said at last, a slight hiccup of laughter hitching the words.

"Easy," Jay tasted the word, as amused as she was. "I don't think an easy cop relationship exists, ever."

Yeah, Erin slid a glancing grin his way, her mouth twisting like she was actually thinking about it, "Kind of worth the effort sometimes though."

Jay matched her look, his lips twitching, "Sure, I mean, if the outfits keep turning up."

Erin snorted and grinned because the particular outfit she knew he was thinking about was already one of her favorites and she couldn't afford a new one every month and Jay knew it. His hand was warm at her waist but he wasn't moving forward to kiss her. The air was the usual heat between them, neither of them even tried to spark anything though. It still felt good.

"You think it'll ever happen for Voight?" Jay asked, out of nowhere, his expression telling Erin that his thoughts had dropped along a very odd chain.

Erin's eyebrows drew down – Hank in a relationship. That was...she wanted it for him but it was odd to think about, anyone else in Camille's place. Jay's hand stroked at her waist, like he knew, like he could read her that well.

"I don't think he wants it, it's like, losing Camille, why would he want anyone else?" Erin verbalized at last.

Camille had been special. Erin dipped her head and felt Jay press closer, his side against hers. He didn't try to fill the silence. Erin had told him about Camille; about how she'd given as good as she'd gotten, how she and Hank had laughed and fought but had always come back together, how she'd been around Erin, how Erin had had to get used to this new version of what a mom could be. How Hank didn't talk about Camille now, didn't even keep pictures of her up anywhere because he missed her that much.

The last time Erin had seen Hank smile anywhere close to how he had with Camille, it had been when Olivia Benson had come to town.

"He has Olivia," Erin murmured. "If it's like that, I don't know. He can talk to her."

Jay nodded. "That's something."

Olivia had sent Hank whiskey once. They talked on the phone even when they weren't involved in cases that stretched from New York to Chicago. Maybe it was just a cop friendship but that was good too. Hank could talk to her, he trusted her, he enjoyed her company. Erin was sure of that. Maybe she teased Hank a little about it, because he teased her about Jay when no one else was listening. It was nice.

Some things Hank couldn't be pushed about, not even by Al or Erin. Whatever he and Olivia had or might have later, she made Hank smile.

Erin clinked her bottle against Jay's, "To the never-ending struggle of the cop relationship."

Jay laughed and took the toast, draining his bottle and then leaving it at his feet. His eyes were bright in the dimmness streaking in past the blinds. There was a department full of stories, full of evidence against this ever having a happy close-to-permanent ending but Erin still put down her bottle and kissed Jay. That heat in the air and in her veins was sparking up now. This bit always felt easy. Some things were more important than permanent anyway. Erin heard the bottles topple at their feet.

 _-the end_


End file.
